When sanity is just a word from a fucking dictionary.

It never ceases to amaze me, what causes sane people to suddenly go ballistic about how they persevere everything around them.What compels them  to take steps into the other side of the world.

I read in the paper how little kids,freaky teens and some complicated adult(youth), move from a palpable place into smokes, never to come back again.Chocking, poisoning, are the most common among them, why do they decide to travel into a world with bottomless pits and vast endless space.Is it the thrill to get choked?choking the reality ?or poisoning the brain to an extent where, it stops thinking on its own and just go blank?or is it a deep silent voice compelling us to go for it, just take the pill to get transported to a chain less world?

The common, notion, about it is that, he/she, just could not handle the pressure or the most boring cliche'd fucking reason, that he/she did not have the strength,determination and willingness to push or to hang on to life.Experts claim it is because of the anxiety and pressure coupled with the social pressures that compel the generation y or the generation 'ICONOCLAST',  to take the drastic step.

Its bull-shit, to understand, the psyche of these people, you have to get into their boots, sounds easy eh?Let me try to unravel what must be going through their minds, first and foremost, I don't think, it is a matter of courage or facing the problems as it comes, the cowards can't or would never even try to get the ticket to the other side of the world, because they simply fear about everything, and live with a hope that, everything would be fine, once the time passes,a Utopian world filled with starry dreams and HOPE.

I know, you must be wondering that i'm advocating death to life, if so, you are highly mistaken and just couldn't comprehend the paragraphs above, what i mentioned there is the psyche of a sane person, and sometimes being a coward is the best decision you can take.

Coming to the delusional cluster, the suicidal group, why do they then act brave, I think the simple reason of it is that, like medicines, they tend to mistake death as a temporary solution to a lets say, an impenetrable riddle or puzzle, it is same as taking weed to get a 'fleeting' high. Failed relationships are also cited the prime reason, such people travel just to prove the other person wrong or inflict them punishments, its like dreaming,Sigmund Frued classifies dream as nothing 'but a way to fulfill one's wish, which they would'nt under normal circumstance, be capable to fulfill' this is the best way to sum up the psyche of those travelling the other side of the world, they just want to punish the guilty, which they, normally would not be able to do.
The cowards I was referring to earlier, not the sane one's but those inching the other side, those who does'nt muster the courage to travel to the other end, end up with acts like acid attacks, rape, manhandling and even murder.

Coming back to the insane and brave people, they ,while buying the ticket to freedom, they fail to realise that the destination of the tickets, they'v purchased is not heaven, but an abyss!! a deep dark ABYSS, from where even, Lucifer, the prince of darkness, cannot return.
I wish, I had a chance to meet one of those, who have set their journey to the other world and ask them,'if given a chance would you,exchange your tickets with someone, and return to a place called earth and probably, start, everything afresh life a soft little child?'

I would not like to speculate on the answer of the traveller, because, its really impossible, to know, unless we go there.I wish, i get a special ticket to that place, only with a condition, of coming back to earth, my purpose is not to travel but to unravel, the mystery..but only IF..IF...IF......

Until, then, SANITY WOULD BE JUST A WORD FROM A FUCKING DICTIONARY'

Signing off,
Jim Jacob :))

Who am I?

There is something urgent  and irascible that is flowing inside my mind,that i need to address immediately, but I just cant remember,and this is happening quite frequently lately. I wish to channelize all those commotions and emotions in my subsequent posts.

I was supposedly born to be a Tennis player, my dad who is also a Tennis coach named me after, the great Jimmy Connors, and I actually thank him for it, because otherwise I would have got some Mallu names, biju,byju,raju,shailaju,shaju, yes, the list goes on and on, and for the record, i sympathize with the guys having those names, because that is an instant turn off and a great impediment to ask a girl out.

I started playing Tennis since that time I started wearing an underwear, or is it the otherway, I dont remember, I started @ the age of 4(I guess i did'nt wear one, that day), that was an age and time, when there were no aspirations and pressure to perform, it was just a fun activity meant to go out of my home,little did I realise that it was the highway towards one of the most excruciating phase of my life.

I started playing tournaments, slowly, and I was regarded as the next big thing back then, was ranked no.2 or something in my state in Under 10-12, I vividly remember, the first lose i came across, was in front of a guy named Suraj Desai in State final, who inturn went on to become a national Gold medalist in times to come, he won his first tournament against me, apparantly.Everyone appreciated my talent  and honestly thought, that I would go on to be a great player, at least nationally.

Cut-to-the-chase, I never realised any of my dreams or my real potential and had to settle being a University Champion,with reasons ranging from injuries to my habbit of screwing it up, when it matterd the most. Yes, I really screwd up, I just could'nt take it or grab it, I sincerly wish, I did, cause there were many who would have wished to trade in with my shoes and have the oppurtunities that, I had to excel. Yeah, fuck Jim!!

Anyway here i am, sitting here today, studing permutation-combination, probablity,trignometry and God knows what and preparing for CAT(Common Admission Test).

 The reason i wrote this piece is, my dad is in Goa right now, attending the All-India-Coaches-workshop and I got a call from him saying that, many coaches, all over from India, whom I have met, or played under, were inquiring, how is my game and where have I reached, its amazing,because even after so many years, they remember me and they thought, I would be playing somewhere right now, which makes me wonder whether I should have really given up, on my first girl friend 'Tennis'

The simple,moral, from this piece,that you can take before sleeping tonight is, sometimes you just need to keep pushing and pushing and try to stick a little harder to things, which you have given your heart and soul to, it may be your project, assignments, relationships, work, or for that matter 'life' in itself, who knows, your one more single second of hanging in, would change your fucking life forever, and for good.

Hang on folks, and dream onn.Would quote a verse from Guns n Roses' song  Pateince before ending this post
'Sad woman take it slow
It'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Sad sugar take it slow
And we'll come together fineAll we need is just a little patience'

Signing out,
Jim 'ordinary' Jacob. :)